Welcome to Handy in the Hood!  An insider's view of the Hood front lines...and trust me when I say I am somewhat knowledgeable on the subject, living in the highest crime per capita area of Orlando.  Wasn't always this way, a decade ago my cute little condo was in an area that was changing over to secondary buyers and was a great deal.  Now...not so much. So with a make fun of myself attitude, I am embracing the humorous and often interesting side of life in the hood.  Because until I move out and about, it's my home and life is what you make it! (I also tend to love my neighbors and my community)

Handy in the Hood will be an ongoing saga done in random installments of various antics. 

Dear Hood Master #6: I found an acrylic nail in the parking lot.  Please let the lovely lady who's missing a nail know that I have it for her.  Ugghhhh

Dear Hood Master #5: The 4th of July was last weekend, yet the fireworks still continue...really? 

Dear Hood Master #4: Could you please add another bus stop on my street, I don't think there are near enough... :-/

Dear Hood Master #3: MUST the landscapers come every Saturday at 8am?  Really?

Dear Hood Master #2: Could you please remove the dead rat that was in the middle of the street this morning...it's kinda in the way.  Thank you!

Dear Hood Master #1: Could you please find a way to keep the fully clothed old pedophiles away from the pool area while I am laying out? Shock collars perhaps? Thank you!

So, if you're ever in my hood, please help yourself to the outdoor fridge.  It's there for all to use.  Catch of the day is fresh filet of flies with wings attached and for an appetizer we have sautéed maggots over pizza nuggets, Enjoy!

So, if you're ever in my hood, and need a mattress, T.V. or shopping cart, we have all your shopping needs taken care of! Just help yourself. (sorry, no delivery service available)

• You find part of a weave on the sidewalk (I had a pic of this peeps, but I think I lost it)
• You don’t need lights for your house because the helicopters light it for you.
• Lockdown becomes a time for you to turn around and go see a movie.
• You go shopping for decorative window bars.
• The sidewalks are actually the dumpsters for trash. Whhhyyyyyyy????
• The dumpsters are used for furniture..ohhh, maybe that's why the trash is on the sidewalks, I JUST thought of that!
• Tennis courts are used for everything but tennis.  You know, dog park, play ground, bike area, etc.
• You know the difference between gunshots and fireworks. (duck, don't run!)
• Getting chased by dogs is an actual workout
• Police tape is part of the landscaping.
• Shopping carts line the street (I still have no idea how they get there??)
• Little, little, little kids are always wondering around. But where there’s a baby, there’s a momma so be careful!
• Your dogs know the command “Mind your own business”..now if I could just teach some of my neighbors that..hmmmm. 
• You KNOW that it takes hydrogen peroxide AND bleach with a LOT of scrubbing to get blood out of the sidewalk..grrrr
• You know when bullets miss their target, it's bad times for someone else! 
• You always know the current style for mens boxers...really, don't they ever trip?
• You can pick up watermelon, oranges AND Bbq on the same corner.  Talk about all in one shopping!! Saawweeet! (side note, I love our little corner guy, he's the sweetest and it's the bomb diggity of bbq!)