Damn you HGTV!!

Originally on Friday, I thought I had nothing really to do over the weekend. When I say that, I am meaning no beach trips, parties, known social events, etc. It doesn’t mean I don’t have loads of laundry to do, cleaning, catching up on computer work, etc….

With smurfette (that’s my car) ending up in the shop Friday evening, that put a kink in the works. So now at this point, I have to get to the dealership on Saturday (that’s a whole different blog)…ok, no worries. WELL. After I get all my chores done, get my car out of the shop, I go over to my neighbors to chill for a second…HGTV is on..cool, I don’t mind watching that for a minute or two. Let me pause and say, it was this very minute I speak of that turned my whole entire weekend upside down. Ohhhh the cutie patootie carpenter using a stain gel..”It is so easy turning old furniture into beautiful new pieces”. Little bubbly host “no need to go shopping for new furniture, look how amazing this re-done table looks”! I’m IN at this point….I’m thinking, I can use stain right?? How difficult can it be? And while I’m at it, why don’t I just pick out a new color for the powder room where I’m going to stain my bathroom cabinetry..Why not? New color cabinets, new color walls…obviously perfect. FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THAT IS HOLY, Damn you HGTV, damn youuuuuuu!

I immediately go out and get a can of stain and pick out a new paint color. Upon returning home, my neighbor wants to “test” it on her cabinets…well how can you do just ONE door…we were up until 2 am doing her kitchen. How the hell did I get roped into that?? Can you say “suckerrrrrrrr” I can only imagine what a sight I was....pair of shorts covered in oil based espresso stain, stain on my hands and arms, wife beater shirt completely tattered, hair pulled back but falling down, sweat dripping down, covered in mineral spirits, barefoot and just a hot mess at this point…seriously, that’s a darn pretty good picture I just drew for you. Exhausted, but done with her “testing”, I stumble down her stairs, into my door, into my shower and fall into bed.

I get up early, feeling spunky and renewed. Take down all my hardware, un-do all my hinges, and I’ll be damned if I could not get ONE screw out..ONE, so now the cabinet door is hanging on a hinge that has one screw attached…Are you effin kidding me…really? So I do what every self-respecting do it yourselfer who lives alone would do, I left it there. I then go to tape off the area. My dogs of COURSE think it’s playtime and come hauling ass and run into me, I fall backward, tape sticks to my arms, peels off the wall, and somehow sticks to my legs. I am now covered in tape, on my ass and my dogs think it’s just hilarious…it’s all of 10 am at this point. Since I’m still on my ass, I look at my hanging door creaking back and forth and decide to take it off the hinge and leave the hinge on the cabinet. Voila! that worked! yippeee…so now I can go stain the pieces and come back and paint…(eventually I saw a neighbor walk by and convinced him to help me with the last damn screw). So now the pieces have their first coat of stain on and I’m back to painting. Got everything taped off, brushes out, pans, liners, ggrrrrr, NO ROLLER…I would have sworn I had one of those…#$@% Can anything go right?? I mean seriouslyyyy.

So now the weekend is over. Needless to say, at this moment, there is a big hole in my wall where the medicine cabinet should be, face plates missing, my whole entire cabinet is in pieces in my kitchen and my hands are tore up with a zillion little cuts. In addition, because I have now repainted the walls, the trim looks dingy, so now I need to go get trim paint and do that as well….just awesome…I’m probably still high from the fumes…I hate you HGTV.

Xoxo,

Pixie